The Day I Stopped Trying to Fix It

The Day I Stopped Trying to Fix It // young-wives.comAlone listening to a podcast on my way to work that day – just me, Jesus, and a wandering mind mulling through events of the morning, processing things that didn’t happen, and those that did, but should have gone differently.

I’m a fixer – Anyone else? Maybe it’s; frustration when your husband can’t find his shirt, the bills when money is tight, the pain when your little one falls, your home when it’s a mess, etc.…whatever it may be, as wives we fix them…physically, emotionally, mentally – it doesn’t matter, we get it done.

My husband (Your husband), he (they) needs peace, love, joy, comfort – but on all days, I (we) cannot be these things on my (our) own. Somedays the house is a wreck, our schedule is bursting, the kids are crazy, the dog is barking, and we are at our wits end – We don’t know how to be peace, love, joy, and comfort in these moments, and we can’t fix it but we do know the God of peace, love, joy, and comfort – and in these moments, we must surrender to him, and that’s what hit me in my car that day. I cannot be the perfection in my home, but what I can do is ask the God of perfection into my home. We want to do our best, be our best, and when we don’t meet those standards we’re often left feeling defeated without ever considering that maybe, this thing we are attempting to fix is not ours to mend.

As wives, we like to think we have everything under control, exuding an air of perfection to those around us. We want desperately to seem as though we’ve got it all together, because anything less than that tells the world we are not the woman we are supposed to be – or so…we think

My original thoughts in my car that morning were not surrendered, and I wasn’t planning to do any waiting on the Lord to work me out, I was attempting to work things out myself, preoccupied with thoughts thinking, “Tomorrow I will do this – this way, and that – that way,” problem solving my way to perfection. Truth – Jesus never asks us to fix ourselves, and he never asks us for perfection. Actually, He longs to be our, “fixer.” Psalm 37:7 says, “Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act…” Surrender.

4 Steps to Surrender

  • Admit our imperfection by standing transparently before God. Confess our failure to him. We cannot do it all, but we serve a God who does.
  • Acknowledge that God is the God of control. When we attempt to control things, we are trying to do his job. His plan is better than ours. Trust him to do what he has said he will do.
  • Ask the God of control to rule over your day. Ask him, the God of peace, understanding, patience, and love to dwell in your home, in your car, at your work. There’s something about asking God to be who he already is, that radically changes the atmosphere.
  • Allow him to work. Exodus 14:14, “The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.” This is one of the most difficult verses to live. It’s the time where we practice the act of surrender by stepping back, taking a deep breath (or 10) and letting God be God.


These four steps coupled with prayer, and studying the word of God melts the stress away as our mind is opened and our understanding increased. In his word we find it filled with imperfect people used greatly. Don’t believe me? Rahab was a prostitute, Leah was NOT pretty, Moses was a murderer, David was an adulterer, Jacob was a liar. We read of their shortcomings, and not just that, but God’s patience and long suffering until each chose the act of surrender to carry out what the Lord desired.

Psalm 139:16

“You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”

We see the here and the now, the mess and the stress, and we forget, don’t understand, or choose not to accept that God saw every moment of our lives before even one passed. He knows our weakness, and he says, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28, a message we hear over and over in his word as God reaches to his people in whatever pit they may be.

I need God’s word every day – We need his word every day. Consuming it every day allows us to take up our armor and fight when the enemy of our soul attempts to stop us from accepting that Jesus was sent to be the perfection we will never be, and the perfection that is required of us all. 2 Corinthians 5:21 says, “For God made Christ, who never sinned to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.”

I find in myself; my first thought is nearly always – do it yourself. Clean yourself up, get yourself right – but in my car that day – God allowed me to understand – I can’t do this on my own– and that was the day I gave up. I gave up fixing myself to being the perfect wife, and surrendered asking God to reign where I keep failing. I wish I could tell you everything has been fine since that day, but it hasn’t, my flesh is thick and this act of surrender is a conscious decision that I need Jesus to help me make every day… Will you join me?

The Day I Stopped Trying to Fix It //
JD Hartz
JD Hartz


I'm JD and I am a follower of Jesus Christ. It is through him that I have been trusted to become a wife, and mother to four children. I live, breathe, and love the chaos brought on by working full-time outside of the home, becoming the dedicated wife, I am called to be, and raising the energetic little ones God has trusted me to mother. In my free time, I can be found having fun chasing our children around the yard of our home, curled up next to my husband (when we actually find time) catching up on the DVR, or digging into God's word growing more deeply in my relationship with our Heavenly Father.

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