If you’re like me, you were one of the first among your group of friends to get married. While there is certainly a level of fun and excitement which comes with that, it also brings with it a trap all too many of us fall into – the trap of too easily forgetting your single friends as you instead focus now on your husband and your married friends. As we quickly approach Valentine’s Day, I want to remind you of the importance of not forgetting these special people in your life – people who may very well have been in your life long before your husband even was. Your single friends have played a huge role in your life up until this point, and just because you are now married and they are not, does not at all mean that that should change. They are still your friends and need to be treated as such. With that in mind, here are some great yet easy ways you can go about being intentional to love on your single friends this Valentine’s Day.
5 Ways to Make Your Single Friends Feel Special on Valentines Day
- Send a Card and/or a Gift
One of the hard things about Valentine’s Day for singles is that everyone else seems to be showered with cards, gifts, and other tokens of love and appreciation – everyone except you, that is. With that in mind, purpose to send your sweet single friends a card for Valentine’s Day or surprise them with a gift. This will mean the world to them!
- Call Them (Don’t Just Text!)
Sometimes just a simple phone call can mean the world to someone who may be feeling lonely. It takes just a few minutes to make a call, but in a world wherein texting and messaging is the more popular form of communication, the intentionality and intimacy of an actual phone call can speak volumes.
- Pray for Them (and Let Them Know You Did)
Pray that they would feel the Lord’s presence rather than any loneliness they may have been experiencing. Pray that they would feel the Lord’s love and that that love would mean more to them than any other love ever could. Pray that they would not be made to feel as if marriage were the ultimate highest calling, but that they would instead know that being an image bearer of God and an ambassador of Christ is – things which they are at this very moment, even while being single. Pray that they would know the huge impact and importance their lives can have right now, in this very season in which they find themselves. And pray that they would make the most of these years of singleness (however long they may last), making them into a highly fruitful and productive season of life.
- Plan a Party, a Game Night, or a Dinner and Invite Them Over (or Take Them Out!)
No one wants to be alone on Valentine’s Day, so if you have some single friends who could use a bit of fun and fellowship, take them out to lunch, take them to the movies, take them to get their nails done, take them to coffee -whatever it is they would enjoy! Alternatively, consider hosting them in your home for a party, game night, or just a nice sit-down dinner. Don’t plan on doing any matchmaking or anything like that, though!
- Above All, Just Don’t Ignore Them (but Don’t Pity Them, Either!)
Sometimes the biggest mistake we married folks make is forgetting or inadvertently ignoring our single friends. While those friendships may feel as though they were from a totally different season of our lives and while it is right to focus on your husband and cleave to him, we nevertheless need to remember that if those friends were important to us before we got married, we need to continue showing them they are important to us even after we are married. So, don’t ignore your single friends.
Don’t, however, make the second biggest mistake, either – that of pitying them. If you pity your single friends, you will inadvertently be sending them the message that singles are living a less-than life, that their lifestyle is sub-par, that they are deprived and missing out. This will do nothing but lead to growing discontentment or feelings of self-consciousness. Remember that they are whole people, whether they are ever married or not. Remember that they are made in the image of God just as much as you are and capable of great things for His kingdom just as you are. That will go a long way towards making your single friends feel special.
Focus on Them
No matter what exactly you do for your single friends this Valentine’s Day, just do something! Do something for each of them that will make them feel noticed, special, appreciated, remembered, loved, and esteemed. Tailor what exactly you do for each one according to their own unique personalities, needs, and interests. And whatever you do, keep your eyes on them and not on yourself. That will go such a long way towards making this Valentine’s Day a truly blessed time for the single friends in your life.