Being a woman in today’s day and age is really difficult, especially when it comes to beauty standards. We are expected have clean nails, fresh hair and makeup everyday, a different outfit for each day of work, and all while maintaining a socially acceptable weight. It’s honestly too much pressure and expectation, and you know what, you don’t have to do it.
I was watching a reality TV show that features four men. They were all railing on one of them for being so fat and goofy looking, and they all laughed and thought it was hilarious. The butt of the jokes accentuated his big gut and made even goofier faces to tease himself, and laughed at himself.
I found myself thinking, “Wow, women would NEVER joke with each other like that on national television!” It is so interesting the amount of pressure there are on women specifically. We live in a society that loves “Dad Bods”, and male celebrities can be bald, short, chubby, thin and trim, young, old, whatever, and we still love them! We celebrate men of all shapes and sizes, yet we shame women for their differing appearances.
I’m here to tell you that we can be like the men. We can celebrate and joke and tease ourselves and have true confidence, no matter what we look like! We have the ability to stand up to society and tell the world that we can love ourselves even if we don’t like what the world says we should!
It’s not easy, but here are a few questions to help guide you towards loving yourself:
Who created me?
Was I an intentional design? Is (Insert whatever you are insecure about here) just a mistake that someone forgot to erase?
As Christians, we have an advantage in the self-love game because we have an intimate relationship with the one who created and designed us! I know it may sound cliche, but have you ever really accepted the truth that God made you perfectly? In fact, Genesis 1:27 says that God made us in HIS image….let that sink in. God created you in His likeness, in His perfect and spotless image. If you could see God face to face, would you criticize His wrinkles, weight, height, hair style? Of course not!
Do I find beauty in other women?
Do you find yourself focusing on the beautiful qualities of other women, or are you constantly criticizing (even if just in your head) different traits that you have been taught aren’t beautiful?
I have found that the more you focus on things that you love in other women, you will find that you actually love that in yourself as well! It is really easy to look at other women and think about the things that aren’t visually appealing to you, but this gets us in the habit of criticizing to the point that we also do it to ourselves. Try this: every time you notice another woman, make sure to point out something you like, or something that makes her beautiful! Finding the beauty in others is a HUGE step to finding the beauty within ourselves.
Do I think that I am worthy of love?
This is the big one for most of us. We don’t feel that we are worthy of love from others, so why would we attempt to love ourselves? Unfortunately we live in a world full of flawed and hurt people who have the tendency to hurt others.
Boyfriends have made us feel worthless, we’ve suffered abuse that has left us feeling dirty and broken, we constantly are comparing ourselves to others who receive more attention and love than us.
Let me just say, I am so sorry for whoever taught you that you aren’t deserving of love, because they were dead wrong. I don’t even know you, yet I am 100% certain that you deserve to be lavished upon with love and adoration? How do I know this? Because it is the Lord’s heart for you. I have tasted of the sweetest of loves myself, and I know that it is a gift to be shared, a gift that your Heavenly Father wants to bestow upon you.
It can be hard to accept at first, but won’t you ask Him to give you a taste of His love? Won’t you ask the Holy Spirit to heal the broken pieces of your heart where you believe that you aren’t deserving.
Loving yourself despite what the world says is a hard and long process, but it is so worth it to be free from societal pressures! God’s plan for us is not to live in shame and self-loathing, but instead to live in His grace and love. Spend time asking yourself these questions, work through them, and give yourself permission to believe that you are stunning and worthy of love, even if you didn’t take a shower this morning!
You can connect with Hannah here: