Remembering What Truly Mattered

Remembering What Truly Mattered //“Yes, of course I’ll marry you!”

Those were the words I squealed when I saw my husband on one knee. It was March 2016 and we had been together for two wonderful years. The picturesque wedding that I had always dreamed of was playing before my eyes, making me bounce like a child on Christmas morning. To say that I was completely ready for this was an understatement. My wedding had been planned, down to the finest detail, even before I had met this amazing man.

We were going to have our wedding at Oheka Castle where the beautiful scenery engulfed everyone we had ever met. The quartet would play Canon in D as everyone entered and fawned over the elegance of it all. That was what I had wanted and what I had dreamed of since childhood.

Quickly, we realized that this dream wedding could end up costing just about the same as a down-payment on a home. I wanted a grand wedding, but not something that would welcome us into married life with debt.

A few days after the proposal, my husband relocated to Maine and I was to follow shortly after I finished school. The wedding was put on hold while we worked out the inner workings of the move. It was August by the time I was fully packed and ready for our new adventure.

After being in Maine for less than a month, I had already conjured that I didn’t want to get married there. There were too many bugs for an outdoor wedding! This one downfall of such an amazing place was enough for me to want to run back to New York and plan the wedding I’ve always wanted.

That was where I found my first fault. In the entirety of our engagement thus far, all I could think about was what I wanted. Not once did I look over to my husband and ask how he felt about this, but I would continually shoot down every rational idea he came up with.

Just as quickly as summer had come, autumn came and went, and winter was upon us. Months had passed without so much as an utter of the wedding. Every time we would try to plan our wedding, nothing would work. The people we wanted to come couldn’t make it that weekend, or they couldn’t afford the journey to Northern Maine, or some other excuse that we would deeply consider.  

After moving six-hundred miles away from everything you’ve ever known, you really come to see who has truly impacted your life. This wedding was something I had wanted to share with everyone, but as my heart grew, my need for a large wedding shrunk. Why did I want to share this moment with people who I had only spoken to a few times, or with friends who I knew I would never speak to again afterwards?

The snow melted, the flowers blossomed, and the blistering sun was now shining again. It was now Summertime and no longer were my eyes clouded. Why had I allowed my desire for a grand wedding restrain me for so long? Our engagement had lasted for a year and some months and it still never seemed like the right moment to plan a wedding. My heart was heavy with resentment towards myself because I had cheated myself out of marriage for longer than I had to because this need of perfection plagued my mind.

My heart was fueled, and my gears were rolling. It was August, and with the help of my future in-laws and immediate family, we were going to make this wedding happen in October.

No longer was my judgement foggy, now I could truly see what this day was all about. This wedding wasn’t about the setting, or the band that played, or even how many people decided to come, this wedding was all about two people becoming one under the eyes of God.

In under two months, with a small budget and lots of help, we were able to cultivate a beautiful wedding in the stables of a family member’s home. Everything was DIY and we came together, up until the last hour, and made that day possible.

Our wedding consisted of twenty-six people, with only four being family friends and the rest being immediate family. I couldn’t have asked for a better day. We were surrounded by such love and warmth that the mere thought of Oheka Castle made me feel queasy.

In the whirlwind of engagement, I had forgotten what truly mattered when a wonderful man got down on his knee. The grandiose façade of a wedding wasn’t what made the day special, it was standing under God with my husband promising myself to him.

With an encouraging heart to those planning their big days, never lose sight of what truly matters. Pray that the Lord keep your heart aimed at your husband and not the flashiness of the wedding. God will truly bless your marriage, as He’s done mine, if you focus on the two most important things: The Lord himself, and your husband.

Remembering What Truly Mattered //
Khorena Sanders
Khorena Sanders

Director of Group Affairs

After meeting the love of my life in New York City, I made a big move to Maine, where I now reside in a home tucked away in the forest. I am passionate about writing, children, modest fashion, homesteading and fellowship within the church. As women, we were created to be pillars for our husbands, and my goal is to strengthen myself and any woman I speak to so that we can carry out the Lord’s plan with grace and love.

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