You know the old adage, “fight or flight”? When a threat comes against you, your body’s instincts will lead you to either stand firm and fight, or to run away as quickly as your legs will take you. The saying should be adjusted for the difficult times of life to “isolate or congregate”. When the going gets tough, do you isolate yourself from those around you, including your husband, or do you congregate together? I have attempted both of these responses, and let me tell you, it is far better to pull together with your man during the tough times!
Why make the effort?
What is so important about pulling together when the situation you find yourself in is hard… or stressful? It reminds us of the most basic Biblical principle on marriage. That husband and wife have become one. One being, united by Christ from the moment you say “I do”. Pulling together is the only Biblical answer. Dividing will only cause tension that God said should never be there. The role of “mate” is to find great strength as you work through the difficulties of life together. It’s not “his problem” or “my problem”. It’s “our problem”. And together, you will find that you have incredible power to overcome the obstacle or circumstance! Alone, you will be much weaker… not to mention lonelier, more depressed, anxious, and feeling spiritually depleted. Because God intended for you to do it together!
A Heaven-sent Support System
I have had several notable times in my marriage where I could not have endured without my husband at my side. (I can also mark times where a situation was unpleasant, even downright crumby, but I slowly worked my way through it and came out the on the other side. These other times I’m referring to were not that… they were completely beyond me!) My goodness, those few times when I truly didn’t know how I would wake up the next morning and face the world outside of our home… yeah, those are the moments when God gave me a quick lesson in the support that a husband-wife team make. As you learn to cling to each other in the difficult days, you will find that there is nothing as comforting as the arms of the one God has united you to. Even if you are both sobbing uncontrollably. (Yeah, I’ve been there!) You are each other’s support system. And if you both choose to embrace it, it is truly beautiful! Especially knowing what comes next…
A Sweeter & More Intimate Marriage
Why do you and your husband need to pull together during the hard days? Even if it seems beyond you to “congregate” – if all of your personality is telling you to “isolate” – come together. Work through it together. The result is worth it! You will find the gift of a sweeter, more intimate relationship on the other side of the mountain. After you have worked through something difficult, you will know what your marriage can withstand; which of course, with Christ, is anything! You will experience more tenderness, affection, a deeper knowing and understanding. What could be better than that?
It is as my husband and I pulled through those extreme circumstances that we learned just how beautiful it is to have each other. We know that God is our ultimate Sustainer and Life-giver, but He has given us the incredible gift of each other. And we treasure each other more and more as we walk through the darkness together. Isolating yourself would only deprive you of something so very sweet – something God intended for you to have when He brought you and your husband together.
If you’re in the middle of one of these trying, frustrating, depressing, scary, dark times right now, pull together! Don’t isolate. Instead, congregate. Don’t try to go it alone! Allow God to be the center of your marriage, and watch how He uses your relationship to draw each of you closer to Him. It’s truly amazing!