Earlier this year I wrote a post on How to Start Praying the Word Over Your Man. And the response we received was incredible. So today I thought I would chat with you about how to pray the word over your marriage. Whether you’re single, engaged, or married, I hope this non-comprehensive “how-to” encourages you in your walk.
It all starts with your relationship with your Creator, and remembering that He created marriage. But He didn’t just create it. He designed a beautiful model for us to learn from, Christ and the Church. Because marriage is about being all in. It’s about agape (unconditional) love and laying aside our sinful, self-centered nature to become more others-centered.* If we truly want to become more Christlike, we need to learn from His example. Jesus ministered to anyone who came to Him. But He also took time for Himself, I assume to pray and reconnect with the Father. (John 6:15) He was refilling His own cup, so to speak.
Thus, you need to fill your own cup before you can successfully minister to your husband, family, friends. Instead of focusing on fixing your spouse or being the perfect wife, focus on God and develop your relationship with Him. Then you can better pray for your husband and your marriage.
That said, sometimes life really does get in the way. But don’t let that stop you from praying the Word. If you’re up against a seemingly hopeless situation, find peace and comfort in His Word. Even if you haven’t been diligent about spending time with the Lord, don’t let any guilt or shame stop you. Paul wrote in Romans, “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” (Rom. 8:1, KJV) By taking this step of faith and getting into the Word, you are walking after the Spirit. So don’t let the devil’s lies dissuade you from pressing on.
Once you’ve prepared your heart, the next step is to actually get into the Word. It all depends on your situation and current circumstances, but you won’t go wrong with the Psalms. David’s heart and sorrow, his praise and despair often soothe my heart wherever I’m at. I love to keep a journal with me to write down verses that impact me. I typically don’t set a time limit I just write and read until my heart is full.
Often, God will speak to me through a particular verse or chapter. In those moments, I sometimes close my Bible then and simply ponder on it. Whenever something jumps out at you, pay attention. It’s for a purpose. And it’s likely that God is trying to tell you something.
Now one of my favorite things to do once I have several verses assembled is to pray them out loud. I believe there’s power in praying God’s Word out loud. And I also believe that hearing yourself speaking the Word boosts your own faith. (Rom. 10:17) Because the beauty of praying the Word is that you are planting seeds in your heart, your marriage, your spouse, and your family. These seeds are life. They take time to grow, but once they are fully grown you will reap a beautiful harvest in your life! Be patient in the waiting and cultivate your faith. I caution you though, don’t let yourself think or say, “This isn’t working” or “This is a waste of time” because your words have power, just like His Word. (Prov. 18:21)
But you’re not done yet. After speaking God’s Word over your marriage, you must have faith. Faith that God will carry out His promise. Faith that He will be faithful to you. And faith that His Word holds power. It’s more than believing in the things you prayed, it’s believing God. (Isa. 55:11, James 5:13-18) This act of faith is tending to the seeds you planted. It’s watering the soil and pulling up the weeds of doubt.
Applying these tips may seem daunting, so take it one day at a time. Don’t guilt trip yourself, or set unrealistic expectations. Whether you need to pray the Word to heal your relationship, or to surrender your husband to Him, remember that God wants the best for you. Let Him break down your husband’s barriers and work in his heart. Pray the Word, trust God with the outcome, and don’t expect overnight change. Or perhaps, if you’re wanting to maintain the healthy relationship you have, this is a powerful way to strengthen that foundation. I hope this post has encouraged you!
*I am not addressing those in abusive or controlling relationships, rather I’m addressing healthy ones. If you are in an abusive situation you need to seek outside help immediately and get counseling.