Are you ever going through life and your brain send you a message of harsh truth, “You’re doing it wrong!”
Um… Yes, me!
Normally it’s because of some tragically ungraceful thing I have done or some equally tragic mistake I have made due to the beloved “Mom Brain.”
But this time, it felt different. I was in the car and I was talking to God about His plans for my life. Particularly about a thought that popped into my head that very much resembled an opportunity that the old Ashley, the pre-two babies, pre-thirties, pre-adult bills would have jumped at.
As I discussed this with God, I was telling Him that His will was all I wanted, nothing more, nothing less. I was saying that above all I wanted His will for my life…and the thought flashed “You’re doing it wrong.”
Not really understanding the thought, I brushed it off as a creeping thought of doubt and kept praying. Still…..you’re doing it wrong.
In the still quiet, as I rested my swimming head, I heard the words of Lauren Daigle and I got it.
What just captures me the most is, “You are my treasure and my reward. Let nothing ever come before I seek You First”
Wow. I was doing it wrong!
Jeremiah 29:13 says “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” (NIV). I wasn’t seeking God I was only seeking His plan.
Um, what? Ashley, isn’t that the same thing?
No and let me use an illustration that has been stuck in my head for the past week.
You are on a path. It is dark. You can see nothing around you. The only small bit that you can see is illuminated by a street light. That light is what allows you to see the path before you. If you get distracted and decide to go seeking the rest of the path, you very well might walk outside of the area the light is shining on. Then you are wandering blindly.
We must seek the light that illuminates our path and not the path itself.
Us taking that small detour and trying to find the path for ourselves leads to more and more confusion, heartache and frustration. Only by keeping our eyes fixed on Him can we walk out what He has for us here on earth! And as guilty as I have been of this, each time I find myself asking, God why am I so turned around? Where did I go wrong?
Friend, it was the second I took my eyes and my heart off of Him!
Jesus said “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.” (John 8:12, NLT)
You won’t have to walk in darkness!
As a mom, a wife, a daughter, and as a woman who cannot stop buying bottles of ketchup but can’t remember to buy a loaf of bread (AHHHH), I feel like I walk around mentally in the dark most of my day. That could be because I gave birth to the only person on THIS PLANET that talks more than I do and he loves asking me 40 million times a day an question that begins with “WHY” and hearing myself think is a thing of the past!
Regardless, isn’t most of adulthood trial and error, figuring it out, stepping out and hoping you heard right? Navigating this world essentially feels like groping around in the dark. We forget that we have the light of the world there waiting for us to seek Him.
Psalms 119:105 says “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path”. (NLV)
Seeking God for His will for our lives is definitely part of our spiritual walk, please don’t miss that BUT we must do so from a place of doing so within our relationship with Him.
Psalms 37:23 says “The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way.” (ESV)
Only when see seek and delight in His ways can our steps be set on a path where our life can be lived for Him!
So I encourage you. Spend some time getting to know Christ. Learning about your creator and all of the things that He has done to get you to the point where you could set your feet on a path for Him. Fall in love with Him and the love that He has for you that He give so freely!! Don’t worry about your next step, don’t worry about anything other than His face. And with our eyes fixed on Him, He will do great things through us as our feet move naturally through His will.