After an especially interesting “disagreement” between my husband and I, the thought passed through my mind this was not the Prince Charming that I thought I was marrying. I mean the guy that I had dated and said yes to was calm, understanding, and slow to anger. He didn’t fuss at me, he didn’t get frustrated when I had irrational meltdowns and he never would have expressed so curtly my pension for “making mountains out of molehills”.
Immediately it hit me that 1) I probably wasn’t always the damsel he thought he was getting in the beginning either LOL! I mean I totally do make everything an end -of- the- world situation, I call entirely too much when he is at work, I’m horrible in the morning and even after my coffee! I will run my opinion into the ground and break it off just to make sure you “get where I’m coming from”. 2) Did he really sign up to be my prince charming? My Knight in shining armor?
The concept of him being my gallant knight to rescue me was all my doing. He signed up to be my husband. You know, “from this day forward, for better or worse, to have and to hold, sickness and in health” not to save, rescue or even make me whole and me putting that pressure on him and holding him accountable for my expectations is not right or fair.
The problem is that we are putting godly expectations on our human husbands. The bible says in Isaiah 54:5 (NKJV) “For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel”. Our husbands cannot and will not live up to our expectations every single day. Its just not possible. The only one that we should be leaning on with that amount of pressure is our Heavenly Bridegroom. Our Maker who seeks us each day, who gave His life to redeem us, who loves us with such a love that he chose to be “wounded for our transgressions and bruised for our iniquities”. (Isaiah 53:5, NKJV)
What if our husbands weren’t the problem? Wait before you decide I’m crazy, please hear me out! They can be total bears sometimes, they leave their socks on the floor two feet from the hamper, they ask things like “what’s for dinner?” before breakfast is even on the table BUT what if some of those everyday marital issues, those bickering arguments, those spur of the moment, not had enough sleep things we fuss about are less about them and more about our focus?
What if we could shut them down? What if we could take responsibility for not even letting an argument get started because we choose to honor our Heavenly Father but respecting the man that He gives the calling to honor us and treat us with understanding. (1 Peter 3:5, NLT) We should focus on Christ and chose grace. And trust me I know, it takes A LOT of pride swallowing to even consider this, much less live it out. You have heard the phrase “throw kindness like confetti”, I think we as wives, as mothers, as women should change it to “throw grace like confetti”.
We chose grace not because of the grace shown to us by others, but because of the grace shown to us by Christ. He has given us eternal comfort by grace, (2 Thessalonians 2:16, NLT) which means that we don’t NEED to win that argument we don’t NEED to make that last point we don’t NEED to bring “it” backup because Christ comforts us.
So together let’s make the decision to do as we are commanded in 2 Peter 3:18 (NLT) “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ”. Let’s clothe ourselves in strength and dignity and speak with wise words just as the Proverbs 31 women shows us (vs 25,25 NLT). I will be praying for you, that God will pour into your heart the practical ways for you to pour grace into your marriage and over your husband. Not because of something he did but because of what Christ did for us when we didn’t deserve it.