When I say the word intimacy, what is the first thing that comes to your mind? If you’re anything like me, and most of the world, you probably think of things that happen behind closed doors. And you wouldn’t be wrong if that’s what you thought! But what if I told you that there was more to intimacy than just sex?
I don’t know about you, but as a wife, it is one of my greatest desires to have a deep relationship with my husband. He is the man God made for me and I want to have ALL that God intended for me to have. I want our relationship and our marriage to wholly reflect God and His purpose for us as a couple. Part of being able to do that is by being intimate! So let’s talk about intimacy in all its forms.
- It’s Physical
When my husband and I went through our premarital counseling, one of the topics discussed was sex. Our counselors asked us if we knew why God designed sex. My poor husband and I thought it was a trick question. But in all seriousness, God designed sex with a purpose. God made it for our protection, but also for our pleasure. We read in 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 that sex within marriage is meant to keep us from sexual immorality. And we also know that everything God creates is good. God created sex for marriage, did He not? So why would that physical intimacy with your husband be excluded from the good things God created?
That’s right friends. Sex was designed by God, for us to enjoy in the bounds of our marriage. I know a lot of women who struggle with embracing this fact (myself included). More often than not, when sex is mentioned in the Bible, it isn’t a good thing. It’s typically being talked about as a sin. So it can be hard to shake the thoughts you may have that to enjoy sex is dirty or a sin. But I want to encourage you to remember that it was created exclusively for you to enjoy with your husband. It is something that is special and unique to you and your husband! Don’t miss out on the true blessing and closeness it can create in your marriage.
- It’s Emotional
I think emotional intimacy is easily overlooked. Most people just think about intimacy as physical and that’s all. However, emotional intimacy is a very key player in having a deep relationship with your husband.
My husband really is my truest friend. We have been through SO much together! He knows me better than anyone ever will (excluding God of course *wink*). And when I think about times where I feel closest to him, it’s often times when he and I were emotionally intimate with each other. I keep saying that term, but what does it mean?
Being emotionally intimate with your husband is being vulnerable. Being transparent and open with him. Not holding anything back from him. When you hold things back from your husband, you are robbing yourself of a deeper connection with him. If we truly want a deeply intimate relationship with him, why would we do that?
Being emotionally intimate with your husband creates so many wonderful things in your relationship. It creates deeper trust and dependence on each other, and further bonds you as a couple. When you are able to share your deepest desires , dreams, fears, etc. with your husband it gives him the opportunity to support you in more ways! It really creates a tight bond between you and your husband as you are able to get to know each other more, and help each other grow. And it is something that is once again reserved just for the two of you!
- It’s Spiritual
Spiritual intimacy is another amazing form of intimacy. As a Christian wife, it is my desire (and I’m sure yours as well) to have an intimate relationship with God, but also with m husband. The entire mission of my website is to peruse oneness with God AND my husband. So you could say I am passionate about this form of intimacy.
Have you ever seen that triangle diagram? You know the one where God is the top point of the triangle and you and your husband are the other two. And as you both move closer to God, you move closer to each other in the process. Ya. That’s why this form of intimacy is so important. When you are both seeking after God, it not only brings you closer to Him, but to each other!
So how can you cultivate a deeper spiritual intimacy? Talk to your husband about God! Ask what he’s studying. Talk about what The Lord showed you at church on Sunday. Share what you’re learning in your devotional time. Pray together! My husband and I have what we call “God Talk” once a week. It’s a time where we just share what we’re learning, and any struggles we may be having. Then we exchange prayer requests and we pray together. We pray for each other, our marriage, the week, our family, etc. It’s a really sweet time for us, and has definitely caused us to grow in wonderful ways.
Intimacy is more than just sex with your husband. Intimacy is a deep, true, transparent relationship with your husband. It can seem overwhelming to think of how to integrate all of these forms of intimacy into your relationship when there seems to be so many other important things too. So I would encourage you to pray and ask God to help you! You will be blessed.