Your Husband Is Not Meant to Complete You

Your Husband Is Not Meant to Complete You //

From the time we’re little girls, many of us dream of one-day meeting and marrying our very own Prince Charming. With visions of marital bliss, no disagreements or hardship to be found, and expectations of romantic gestures all the livelong day, we enter marriage sometimes thinking that everything will always be perfect. And while marriage is indeed amazing and living life alongside your best friend is one of life’s very greatest of gifts, there nevertheless does come a point in which we find ourselves disillusioned.

Perhaps it was when our Prince Charming woke up one day looking a little less than charming, with morning breath to boot. Or maybe it was when we saw him in the heat of the moment for the first time and were astonished by his ability to lose his temper. Maybe it was the day he expressed his desire to watch a game on tv instead of the latest chick flick. Or perhaps it was when he left his socks on the floor for the fifth time. Whatever it was in our own unique relationships, each of us wives has undoubtedly come face to face with the difficult moment of realization that our husbands simply cannot live up to all of our lofty (and dare I say unfair and unrealistic) expectations.

This realization, my friend, is actually a blessing in disguise, for it points out an important truth which we would all do well to remember: our husbands were never meant to complete us. As little girls with visions of Prince Charming coming to rescue us on a white steed, we imagine our future husbands to be men who will meet our every expectation, fulfill our every need, never disappoint us, always complete and satisfy us, and fill all the holes in our hearts that are looking for love. But this simply will never happen, no matter how wonderful our husbands turn out to be. There are deep-seated longings in our hearts for love and acceptance that only one Person can fill.

Your Husband Is Not Meant to Complete You //

I want to introduce you to a woman who had learned this the hard way, but who was so blessed to have our Lord reveal to her the true Source of fulfillment and lasting satisfaction. We read their encounter in John 4:

 Jesus answered and said to her, “Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.”  The woman said to Him, “Sir, give me this water, that I may not thirst, nor come here to draw.”  Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You have well said, ‘I have no husband,’ for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly.” (verses 13-18)

Here was a woman who clearly had, for years, been seeking out fulfillment, satisfaction, and a person to complete her heart, all to no avail. She had been through 5 marriages and now was a part of a 6th relationship, perhaps having, this time, given up on marriage altogether. She was looking for love in all the wrong places, thirsting for the kind of completion and satisfaction that – unbeknownst to her – cannot even be found in a relationship with a fellow human being.

It can only be found in God.

Does This Sound Like You?

Read through the following passages with me for a moment, asking yourself if any of these utterings from the psalmist sound like something you have been saying in your own heart:

 “Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness,

And for His wonderful works to the children of men!
For He satisfies the longing soul,
And fills the hungry soul with goodness.” (Psalm 107:8-9)

“O God, You are my God;
Early will I seek You;
My soul thirsts for You;
My flesh longs for You
In a dry and thirsty land
Where there is no water.
So I have looked for You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory.

Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips shall praise You.
Thus I will bless You while I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips.” (Psalm 63:1-5)

Oh, satisfy us early with Your mercy,
That we may rejoice and be glad all our days!” (Psalm 90:14)

Are you seeking a satisfaction to the deep longings of your heart and feeling jaded as a result of finding yourself let down again and again? Is your soul hungry for completion, fulfillment, and a lasting love that does not disappoint?

Then look no further than the Lord, sweet sister.

These passages show that it is the Lord who satisfies our hungry, thirsty souls. Only He can meet those soul cravings for love, acceptance, and fulfillment. Your husband was never meant to carry that full obligation on his shoulders, to have the responsibility of your satisfaction in life be a burden that he alone has to carry. As wonderful as your husband may be, he cannot truly and fully complete you. This is not, however, an indictment on him, but an understanding that we were made to find our contentment, our worth, our completion, in God alone. Fellow sinners disappoint, but a Holy God cannot.  After all, God is love, wrote the book on love (literally!), died because of love, and daily lives out the description of love found in 1 Corinthians 13, a description that no fallen human being can ever fully live out.

So, the next time your husband disappoints you and you find yourself disillusioned? Don’t take that as an opportunity to beat him over the head for failing to complete you. 😉 Instead, allow it to serve as a reminder of the Gospel and to point you to Christ – we are all fallen humans in need of a Savior, none of us are righteous, and not of us can love fully as we ought. Our hearts yearn for a perfect love, and that love is found in the Lord. Look to Him, find the love and completion you are seeking, and, in so doing, free your husband from the unfair expectation of having to complete you.

Your marriage will be all the better for it!

Rebekah Hargraves
Rebekah Hargraves


Rebekah Hargraves is a wife, mama of two littles, home business owner, podcaster, and blogger residing in TN. Her passion is to bless fellow Christian women through her writings on her website, Hargraves Home and Hearth, which exists to edify, equip, and encourage women in their journey of Biblical womanhood.


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