I did not marry the one.
There, I said it.
I love my husband, dearly, but when we walked down the aisle, neither of us held onto delusions that we had found someone who would fill the whole in our lives. We didn’t find the one who was there to going to be our everything or who would understand us perfectly.
We found something infinitely better.
When I walked down the aisle and said, “I do,” I married the man who was going to stretch me to my limits, who was going to be used by God to help make me more like Christ, and who was just as determined as I was to fight through life together.
My husband is a good man. No, he is a great man. From the beginning of our marriage, he has demonstrated his commitment to working through problems. When life twists and turns the path before us, he loves and cares for us. We are unable to go far into any day without seeing the way sin has mangled our hearts and made us unable to love as we should.
But that doesn’t mean we give up. That means that we get down on our knees and seek the aid of the Holy Spirit to strengthen our hearts and our resolve to live out a picture of the love of Christ and His Church.
I married the one who will continually point me to this truth.
My husband, he might not perfectly complete me, but that’s because Christ is the only one who can make me whole. He cannot know me as intimately as my Creator. And he cannot love me as only God can. We are sinful humans. We are unable to make someone else whole since we are not whole ourselves. Only nail-pierced hands can fill the holes that sin shot through the world.
Marriages reminds me of this truth. It reminds me of the aches that run through this busted up world. It shows me that even our best attempts, our most beautiful union, will fall short. They will again and again be caught up in selfishness and sinfulness. But they will remind me of why I need Christ and will give me an opportunity to live out the Gospel.
I married the one who will remind me daily of the Gospel.
He does this by reminding me that he isn’t the one who will complete me but will point me to the One who will. He doesn’t tell me I’m perfect, but reminds me that my Savior’s blood makes me perfect and encourages me to be better tomorrow than I am today.
I’m not perfect. It would be foolish to marry someone who thought I was. I need someone to see the wholeness of my person and to show me where I am not living a life that is honoring to Christ. My selfishness needs to be pointed out, not coddled.
I found the one who will see my imperfections, remind me of my calling as a daughter of God, and love me through it all.
My husband knows I’m not perfect but he loves me through my imperfections. He loves not only who I am, but the person he sees that God is forming me into. He sees a balanced me, with my strength and weaknesses. And he loves me so much. Way too much to let me stay in a state of sin.
My marriage isn’t perfect. We fight, we miscommunicate, and we choose the selfish path over the path of self-sacrifice.
But it’s beautiful. Instead of marrying a man who thought I was perfect, a man who would worship the ground I walk on, I married a man who would worship the Savior and eagerly help His work to make me perfect.
Society may say I didn’t marry “the one,” but I married the man who points m daily through the One in his self-sacrificial love. I married a man who loves me far to much to try and assume a role in my life that only God can fill.
And because of that, we’ve given up ourselves, and become one and to remember that, at the end of time, we will join with the Church as becomes the Bride of Christ. And on that day, we will see the beautiful truth of a love that even the greatest of marriages has one ever hinted at.