To the woman out there pregnant and afraid of being a mom or to the woman who’s scared of having children, I’m writing to you. I’ve been where you are, and it’s okay to feel this way. You just can’t stay here forever, okay? God didn’t give us a spirit of fear. He doesn’t want us to let fear choke and paralyze us.
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2 Tim. 1:7, KJV)
Does becoming a mother change you? Yes. Is that scary? Absolutely. But the devil uses this fear to control us and it’s time to remove his hold on you. So how do we do that? Well, as I always suggest, we get into the Word. Even though we’re entering a daunting season full of unknowns, He won’t leave. He has so many blessings and promises for us, as individuals but also as moms to our littles. Here’s one of the promises we can rest on:
“So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” (1 John 4:16-18, ESV)
We have to learn to let God’s unconditional, agape love into our heart. We need to let Him in, and let Him quiet our worried heart. Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to us for this reason, to comfort us in His absence. (John 14:15-18) I’m not saying this is easy, because it isn’t. In fact it will take some effort on your part. But it comes down to this: trust His Word over the lies and fears the devil is trying to speak over you. Speak truth. Speak life. And let God do the rest. Maintaining such a mindset will be difficult at first, but with His help all things are possible.
The truth is, reality is rarely as terrible as your imagination. I, too, was afraid of being a mom. I didn’t feel cut out for this. Nor did I feel ready to lose that quality one on one time with my husband. The truth is though, having kids doesn’t eliminate that. It becomes more difficult but it’s still possible. You will have to be more intentional with your marriage relationship, but it’s so worth it.
As a mom and wife on the other side, hear me out. Motherhood is so. very. hard. But when that baby smiles at you and reaches for you, it’s all worth it. There is a love that appears out of nowhere when that baby is first put in your arms. You won’t be ready, you won’t have it figured out, you may still feel afraid BUT everything will be okay.
You can do this. God created you to do this and with Him all things are possible!! It is a season of learning and sometimes hardship, but you are more than equipped if you hold onto Him.
As I write this, I’m close to having eight months of official motherhood under my belt. Has it been perfect? Hah. No. But when I think about what my life would be like and who I would be without my son, I don’t like that person or that life. Becoming a mother has changed me for the better. It’s helped me to grow and have a deeper understanding of God’s love for us as His children. I wouldn’t change a thing.
Motherhood is a daunting, exhausting task that forces you to give your all and then some. Yet the rewards are limitless. It isn’t something you will ever regret even in your darkest moments. So don’t let fear rob you of your joy. Don’t let fear hold you back from the blessings ahead. You will never be ready, but you can do your best. I hope this encourages you to not be afraid!