If someone would have asked me, “why are you getting married?” I would have, I believe, said something like “I love him,” “I don’t want to be with anyone else,” and/or, “because I want to.” They are real and true answers. However, if I were to get married to my husband today, and someone asked me that again, my answers would be different.
My husband and I got married when I was 20 and he, 22. The reason my answers would be different has nothing to do with age, rather, maturity in the word of God. The meaning behind marriage, from the word of God.
Marriage, for me, was terrifying. I didn’t grow up with my mom and dad married. Sadly, most don’t. I saw more marriages fail than survive. I often wondered, the marriages that did “make” it, was it out of luck? Did they just happen to choose the perfect person? The right person? Was it because divorce was too hard, too expensive, so they just kept going? Were they really happy, the ones that “made” it? I wanted, I needed, to know why divorce was so common when I grew up being taught that the word of God talks about marriage as a sacred covenant. I wanted to believe that marriages absolutely can make it. Not just make it, but be beautiful, thrive and glorify God as it was created to. But, how? That was my question, how?
Fourteen years married, my husband and I, but after nine of those years we found ourselves divorced. We were divorced for ten months and then re-married. I will talk more in depth about our story at another time; however, we learned that marriage has very little to do about us, and has everything to do about God. Everything. It is the most beautiful love story.
When God brought Eve to Adam (Gen. 2:22) I can’t help but picture it like me walking down the aisle as my earthly father is about to “give away” his daughter, his most valued treasure. God was bringing me to my husband, just as He did that day with Eve in the garden. In verse 23-24, Adam says “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” WOW, I love this.
I believe that if we desire to understand, to read God’s word, to honor marriage, and live out His word as Christ strengthens us, we will see more marriages surviving! It will not always be easy and you may struggle with your feelings. Remember, Satan comes to kill, steal, and destroy. Stay close to Jesus. I remind myself of Colossians 3:23-24, “And whatsoever you do, do it heartily as to the Lord, and not unto men. Knowing that of the Lord you shall receive the reward of the inheritance, for you serve the Lord Christ.”
If I were to ask you, “Why are you getting married?” What would your answer be?