A submissive woman is something that today’s culture is fighting against. She is seen as someone who is weak, dependent, and incapable of standing up for herself. But what if I were to tell you that the bible encourages wives to be submissive? The bible even says that a wife who submits to her husband is fitting to the Lord? (Col 3:18) So is the bible telling wives to be weak, dependent, and incapable?
Let’s make something clear, the way that the culture defines submissive is not how the bible does. Submissive is not meant to be a bad thing. A biblical wife is not a woman who can not take care of herself and never speaks her mind. She is strong, she works hard, she is kind, and she is respectful. She is the neck to her husband’s head, holding him up and supporting him. But again, let’s make this clear: the husband is the head of the household. He biblically leads his family and should be in charge of major decisions.
Even the biblical definition of a submissive wife can be hard for a lot of women to swallow. I know for me, it took a long time for that to truly sink in. Being a submissive wife does not mean that my opinion doesn’t matter. It doesn’t mean that I have nothing to contribute to our family. It doesn’t mean that my wants, needs, and feelings are inferior to my husbands. But it does mean that at the end of the day, my husband will make final decisions and lead our family to the best of his ability.
I choose to submit to my husband out of respect for him, but more importantly out of respect for God. I am submitting to my man because of my love for Jesus and my deep desire to please and obey Him. When a husband loves his wife as Christ loves the church, submitting should be a natural and somewhat easy task. But even when it’s not easy, it’s still what we’re called to do. The Lord has called me to be a wife, and because of that, I will try my best, every day, to do and be everything that being a wife entails.
It’s also important to note that a woman is to submit to one man, her husband. Not every man. A submissive wife does not equal a submissive woman who takes orders from all men. Definitely not. Submissiveness in a woman is to be towards God and then her husband.
I want to leave you all with a quote from a commentary from Matthew Henry. I love what he has to say and I think it sums up the relationship between man and wife beautifully
“The woman was made out of Adam’s side. She was not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved.”
I love those words, and oh how sweet and true they are. I pray that all you wives would be blessed by those words and that they would be true for your marriage. I pray that you would be able to take the time and ask the Lord to bless you with a submissive heart to trust in your husband’s ability to lead you. I hope you always remember to ask the Lord to guide your husband and bless him with wisdom.
“The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the Word of the Lord stands forever.” Isaiah 40:8
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