When Josh and I first started dating we were both in a season of being so passionate about being in God’s Word. We would read, study and talk to each other about what we were learning. We would spend time reading and studying together. All of this made for an amazing foundation for marriage.
But then, after we got married, something happened that I think everyone can relate to: life happened. You feel me on this right? Life gets busy. Time gets away from you. And all of a sudden you can’t think back to the last time you spend time with God.
Not just listening to worship music while you rush to get ready in the morning. Or a quick five minute devotional while you try not to let your heavy eyes close for the night. But real, quality time with your Father.
Can you remember the last time you put everything else aside and just focused on Him?
I came to that moment shortly after we got married. I realized that I kept thinking, “I’ll read tonight.”, “I’ll spending some uninterrupted time with Him tomorrow.” Only to get distracted by the laundry or dishes or spending time with Josh.
There was one day…you know the day…when everything was annoying. I was having an “Eye-Roll” day. Everything made me roll my eyes and grumble under my breath. It was just one of those “no one talk to me today or I’ll bite your head off” days. Tell me I’m not the only one who has these days!
I was grumbling about always having to do dishes and vacuum and laundry and all the other things that it takes to keep a home running. That day turned into a few days, and those few days turned into a week.
And then I realized that these things I was grumbling about were things that I normally enjoyed. I love cleaning (most days) and I love cooking. I love to keep our home running smoothly! This is one way I serve my husband and I usually love to serve in this way. So why was my heart grumbling over these tasks?
It took me a few days to finally settle down enough to realize that my heart was becoming discontent. My heart was bitter and definitely not joyful! I was thinking about all the things that I do, how much I do to keep our lives nice and organized! Me, me, me. That selfishness creeps in real stealthy, right?
When I looked at the root these issues it came down to not spending time with Christ. I hadn’t had my own study time, my own quiet time in a few weeks!
I learned very quickly in marriage that I am a better wife when I am serving Christ first. I am more patient when I’m in my Word. I am more loving and kind and giving when I’ve made time to spend with my Father. You see, that’s where everything stems from.
When we know who we are in Him, we don’t feel the need to compare ourselves to others.
When we rest in His love, we are more patient with our families.
When we know how much He loves us and all that has done (and is still doing) for us we live to love others in that same way.
When we put Christ at the top of our priorities, everything else falls in line with that.
When we put Christ first, we are aligning our hearts with His. We are filling ourselves up with His Word and His heart so that we can then go out and serve others.
We love others best when we put Christ first, simple as that.
Ephesians 5:22 it says, “Women submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” That “as to the Lord” part is so vital. Jesus is the perfect leader. He is the only one who can fill us up and fulfill us wholly. He is the only one who can give us true worth and security. And it’s only when we submit to His ultimate authority that we begin to love our spouses as we should.
Jesus is also the perfect servant. And when we are spending time with Him, learning His Word, learning His characteristics, we are allowing Him to mold our hearts into the servant mentality.
When we are spending time with our Father we long to emulate our Father. We long to love others like He does and to see others as He does.
My heart should be aligned with my Father before I can truly love and serve my husband. Because from our hearts is where everything flows. Your true heart will show in your speech, your actions, your attitude. Your outside will reflect your inside…it will either mirror the heart of Christ or it will give your little secret up.
I learned that my actions, my eye rolls, my attitude were all giving me up. They were showing my heart. And my heart was one that hadn’t spent time with Christ in a while. As wives and more importantly, brides to Christ, we must be intentional about our time with Him.
I’m learning that the dishes can wait a little while longer. The laundry will still be there in an hour. But my heart (and my sanity!) need Christ. It longs for Him. And not spending time with Him will be detrimental not only to my relationship with Him, but it will also trickle down to every other relationship I have including my marriage.
My prayer is that every sister in Christ, every Bride of Christ, will set aside all other duties in order to put Him first.
Are you having an “eye-roll” day? I’m there with you friend! Let’s find our identity and security in Him so that we can have a servant’s heart like His! Time with Him will get rid of those nasty eye-rolls and allow us to be humble, loving, joyful servants. When we are making Him the first priority, the Eye-Roll days will be few and far between.
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